“Who will receive my birthday wishes today and who will now listen to my singing of the birthday song.. ?? Who will now wait for me anxiously at our residence and who will now display restlessness if I arrive late.. ??
Who will now remember me in their morning prayers and who will now fight with God for being unfair to me..?? I’m now going to visit your grave with all these complaints.. All your life you served me with devotion and when I became fit to serve you, my dear Mom, you have departed.. Happy 91st Birthday” – Your Balu
My Beloved Mother
Smt.Damayanti Devi, if alive, would be celebrating her 91st birthday among us today.. However, at the age of 75, she left this world on the midnight of Friday – the 18th of February, 2005 – during the most auspicious moments of Bheeshma Ekadasi.
It is in her honor that am launching this holy website today and paying my tributes to her by writing this article about her devotion towards the God in human form.. By doing so, am dedicating this website to her as my humble birthday gift expressing my gratitude and love to her for all that she had done to me in my life
Read on..
A Mother is a Mother for everyone but for me my Mother is my best teacher who introduced Lord Venkateswara to me and also taught me Sri Venakteswara Suprabhatam and Mangalaasasanam in my childhood when I was just five year old.
My Mother is also my best friend who gave me all the love in the world and also all the sustained unconditional support to me when I needed it the most.. When I was going through the most turbulent times of my career, in the 90s, she had sold all her jewelry of generations old just to keep me afloat in the troubled waters.
My Mother is also a true Mother who in my view is undoubtedly the world’s greatest Mother.. This small incident will tell you why am I giving such a child like statement.. This incident and the Golden words that she spoke in anger against God that day would remain fresh in my memory not only in this life but also in a life beyond life.
Ours is a simple middle class family with nine children to our beloved parents.. In all, we are five brothers and four sisters and am number six in the family. May be because I was born 10 years after five children (my three sisters and two brothers) were born, I was her sweetest child whom she would dress like a girl or whom she would teach all the Bhajans and devotionals with great passion.
That’s not the only reason but there’s also one more strong reason both my parents would proudly tell all.. Just a day before I was born, a Rising Sun appeared in the dream of both my father and Mother which is why they originally named me ‘Baladitya’ but would fondly call me ‘Balu’.
My Mother’s daily Puja was a musical session for our whole family.. She was a great singer and singing Telugu devotional songs in melodious tone and performing daily Puja to all the Gods and Goddesses in our Puja room has been her habit all through her life. That way, right from my childhood, she had inculcated the habit of performing daily Puja at home.
One day, during those turbulent times of 1993, while I was performing my daily Puja she quietly came and stood behind me.. Later, after I completed my Puja and stood up, she told me, quoting a famous Telugu poem, in a tone filled with anger.
“Balu, అక్కరకు రాని చుట్టము.. మ్రొక్కిన వరమీని వేలుపు .. మోహరమున తానెక్కిన బారని గుఱ్ఱము.. గ్రక్కున విడువంగ వలయు (A relative who doesn’t help you in a need, a God who doesn’t offer you a boon despite many prayers, a horse that doesn’t obey your commands in a war should be left immediately) so from tomorrow stop all your prayers.
God is not there for you, Balu.. You are offering your prayers to Him, so sincerely day after day and week after week for so many years, and He’s not offering any solace to you from your problems.. Just leave Him Balu..
There’s no point in offering prayers to such a ruthless God Who has been so mercilessly treating you.. Leave Him.. If you think it’s sinful to do so, then, don’t worry, I will take all that sin on me”.. Saying so, she broke down.
Holding both her hands, I smiled at her innocence and told her, “Amma, am not doing this Puja everyday to God expecting something in return from Him.. In fact, what am performing is not any Puja but a powerful meditation during which stage my mind becomes completely thoughtless and desire less.
This is a state that I have silently reached after many years of tremendous practice and efforts Amma.. Not everyone can reach such a difficult state in life.. Be happy and thankful to God that He had blessed your son with such a blissful state at a very young age..
What are these problems Amma, they will all go one day.. Sun certainly rises after darkness so would it be in my life.. Be strong and brave, Amma, am your son.. I can overcome these problems and conquer the world one day.. Don’t worry about me”.. PERIOD
Miraculously so, after 7 years
On Saturday..
The 7th of October, 2000
The same God..
Whom my Mother had once asked me to desert forever..
Had entered our life, to stay with us forever, in His simple human form whom we all are very fondly call today as “Sriram Sir” – the Swayam Bhagawan.
“వెడద వెడదలగు కన్నులతో బెదడలను బాపు చూపులతో .. కాళియ భుజంగ ఫణములను కదిలించిన ఆ అడుగులతో” was how Bhagawan entered my life that too during the most appropriate moments of an abysmal crisis, held me tight with both His powerful hands and prevented me from falling further into the deep valley of problems.
My beloved Mother – a great devotee of Krishna herself – was spellbound with the amazing miracles of Sriram Sir that I would narrate to her lying down beside her in her bed.. By that time of the year, her health condition was drastically deteriorating.. She was mostly restricted to home more so to her bed.
The only thing that would make her happy, in those distressing last days of her life, was spending time with my two daughters or listening to a few miracle stories of Sir that I would narrate her or read out to her lying beside her in her bed.
After hearing so much about Sriram Sir from me, she had not only become a big devotee of Sir but had also developed a strong desire to see Him at least once before leaving this world.. Unfortunately, with the passing of time, her health had started deteriorating furthermore with the most agonizing of all the problems being her drastic deterioration of vision.
One day, unable to see my Mother’s condition more so with her desire to see her Sriram Sir, I called Sir, briefed Him about her condition, told Him about her constant desire to see Him and requested Him to give a few minutes of His valuable time.
Sir smiled and granted us time the very next morning.
The next morning..
At about 8.30..
I picked up my Mother and Father from their residence and by about 8.45 reached the bus stop, that is there opposite to the famous St.Anns Girls High School in Maredpally, Secunderabad.
Sir used to come there everyday, to that bus stop, to drop His daughter, Sowmya, who at that time was studying in that school.. After dropping her, Sir would spend fifteen or twenty minutes of His time with some of His followers, who would come there to see Him.
Similarly, on that day, the three of us reached that bus stop and started waiting for Sir.. After about two minutes, Sir arrived and after quickly talking to a couple of His followers, came straight to us and stood in front of us.
Both myself and my father received Sir with folded hands.. He then started looking at my Mother..
“Amma, Sir came”, I whispered in my Mom’s ears..
She looked at Sir but could not trace Him properly because of her poor vision..
Sir went closer to her and with a gentle smile started looking at her face.
My Mother still couldn’t properly see Sir.. However, she could notice His presence in front of her.
On noticing her Bhagawan in front of her, her eyes, hidden behind her spectacles, immediately filled up with tears of joy..
It was then that she became more desperate to see Sir’s face and started rapidly moving her eye balls all around.
But she was still not able to see Sir..
Above that, her tear filled eyes were blurring her vision furthermore..
Still she was trying to see Sir but was failing..
Was trying but failing..
Was trying but failing..
Was trying but failing..
“అసలే ఆనదు చూపు ఆ పై ఈ కన్నీరు.. తీరా దయచేసిన నీ రూపు తోచ దయ్యయ్యో.. ఏలాగో నా రామా.. ఏదీ.. ఏదీ నీల మేఘ మోహనము నీ మంగళ రూపము”
(O’ Raaama, my vision is already blurred and these tears are blurring it furthermore.. And You came after ages of my waiting and now am not able to see you.. What is my fate, O’ Raamaa, where is Thy sacred face – filled with color of Blue – and where is thy Divya Mangala Roopam that am not able to see now)
That was my beloved Mother’s condition; that moment; that morning; that day; that life; and in that divine presence of her beloved Sriram Sir that was similar to the condition of Sabari in Ramayan when her Lord Rama would come to see her after she waits for Him all her life).. PERIOD
Observing my Mother’s agony, Sriram Sir went further close to her and kept looking deep into her eyes, as though granting her some temporary vision, and asked her,”Ammaa.. How are you..??”.
Quickly folding both her hands in His honor, my Mother replied saying, “By your grace, am fine Sir”.. She was ecstatically ecstatic and madly mad.. That was one of the happiest days of her life.. After spending a few more minutes of precious time with Sir, we left for home.
Gradually, thereafter
My Mother started losing her vision furthermore..
One day, at about 8 P.M, when I entered the flat and went straight to the dining hall, she was weeping, sitting all alone at the dining table.. There was a plate in front of her, with a little rice in it.. I quickly went to her, sat beside her and holding her with my right hand, asked her, “Ammaa, what happened”.
Picking up a few grains of rice into her hand and throwing them back into the plate, she said, “why is this life, Balu, when I cannot properly see even the food am eating.. Please ask Sir to take me away”.. Which son in this world can stay calm after seeing his Mother in such a pathetic condition.. My heart broke out into million pieces.
The very next morning, I met Sriram Sir and requested Him saying,
“Sir, I know it’s not fair to ask You like this.. But she’s my Mother and she’s in pain.. Am unable to see her trauma.. If You want, please take her away but please don’t give her such unbearable pain.. As long as You want to keep her alive, please grant her some vision that will make her feel better and happy.. Please Sir.. Please help her”
Sir smiled and said,”Do all that you can.. Rest all leave to Him”.. The same evening, I left for Mumbai and returned after two days.. Later, I headed straight to my parents’ apartment in Padmarao Nagar, Secunderabad..
My father was not at home that time..
It was about 9 pm..
My Mother was relaxing in a rocking chair and was watching T V..
I slowly went inside, greeted her and then occupied the other rocking chair, that was beside her chair, which my Father would use those days.. Then I slowly turned to her and asked her,”Amma how are you..??”
She turned to me, said “fine”, turned her head back and started watching TV again.. Later, taking me by complete shock and surprise, she started reading out loud the scrolling Telugu content that was appearing at the bottom of the T V screen.
Finding it extremely difficult to control my ecstasy, I asked her..”Amma.. Are you able to read those lines”.
She replied with a smile saying,”I don’t know what miracle happened, Balu.. Am now able to see a little of everything and read that content too.. I think Sriram Sir had answered my prayers”.
After spending a few more minutes with my Mother, I got up to take leave from her.. Holding my hand and asking me to sit for a minute, she told me,”Balu, there’s no doubt, Sriram Sir is Swayam Bhagawan Sri Krishna.. Never leave Him in your life”. PERIOD
Thereafte, my Mother’s health condition went down sinking and sinking further that made her unable to move freely even in the house.. She would remain confined to her bed most of the day.
Even in such a terrible condition of pain and agony she would never leave her habit of watering the Tulasi plant which she has been doing every day for more than sixty years for the well being of my Father.
One day, just a few days before her departure from this world, she was in excruciating pain lying down in her bed.. Her body had become almost immobile and her legs were completely stiff.. That morning, she did not offer water to the Tulasi plant so was worried that she may break the rule that day.
She became extremely restless and desperate.. Tried to move her body and get up from the bed.. However, she could only move her body a bit but was not able to move her legs. She started crying but kept trying.. She could not.. She slowly composed herself and silently prayed to her God Sriram Sir,
“Sir, in these sixty one years of our married life there was never a day in my life I missed out watering the Tulasi plant.. It’s my favorite ritual that I have been performing all these decades for the well being of my husband.
But, today, am not able to do that, Sir.. I don’t want to fail in something that I have been successfully doing for so long for my husband who is my God.. I want him to be safe and healthy forever.. Please give me some strength to my body and legs and help me complete this task today.. Please, Sir”.
Praying so, she looked at a small photo of Sir that she would always keep beside her pillow.. Then, she slowly closed her eyes and remained so in reverence for a few minutes offering prayers to that photo.. (Mysteriously, this photo of Sir went missing from the day my Mother left this world and we could not trace it until today)
Later, she slowly moved her body, then, her legs and first sat on the bed.. There were tears in her eyes.. Gathering some more strength, she slowly stood up and remained so for a few seconds.
Then the miracle happened..
She quickly walked into the kitchen, that was about ten feet away from her bed, and collected water from the tap in a steel tumbler..
Walked another ten feet towards the hall balcony where her Tulasi plant was placed..
Poured water from the tumbler into the plant..
Walked back all the 20 feet again..
And..
Ended up..
Not on her bed but on the Care Hospital bed in the Banjara Hills area of Hyderabad and remained there for twenty long days battling for life.
Finally, on the midnight of Friday, the 18th of February, 2005..
At about 1 A.M
On the most auspicious day of Bheeshma Ekadasi..
My beloved Mother, after battling for twenty days in that hospital, had breathed her last.
A couple of hours before her departure from this world, she lost all her senses and went into a state of delirium and started talking about irrelevant topics.
I was all alone on her bed side that time, but she was not able to recognize me or my voice.
Realizing that my Mother was spending her last moments on this planet, I called Sriram Sir on his mobile and explained to Him her condition..
Sir said He would talk to her..
I took my mobile and placed it beside my Mother’s right ear..
Sir started talking to her.. Was telling her something..
What Sir told her and what did she she hear from Sir, that moment, is still a mystery to me today.
However, my beloved Mother, who was until then talking non stop on irrelevant topics, suddenly grew quiet and started listening to Sir.
Sir went about talking to her and my Mother went about listening to Him..
Sir was talking.. My Mother was listening..
Sir was talking.. My Mother was listening..
Sir was talking..
My Mother..
Was l..i..s..t..e..n..i..n..g..
And..
While listening so..
My beloved Mother..
Slowly closed her eyes..
And..
Never opened..
“అసలే ఆనదు చూపు ఆ పై ఈ కన్నీరు.. తీరా దయచేసిన నీ రూపు తోచ దయ్యయ్యో.. ఏలాగో నా రామా.. ఏదీ.. ఏదీ నీల మేఘ మోహనము నీ మంగళ రూపము”
Mahaabhinishkramanam
Bhajare Sriramam
Narrenaditya Komaragiri
Author, Founder & Chief admin
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